is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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