Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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