what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
