so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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