You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
