So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
