finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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