are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize