Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
