As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
