i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need a beard to bite.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize