I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
