Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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