I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
