i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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