the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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