I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
