I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Found your dick twin last night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i out mim tonsoeep
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