would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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