Can Purell be used as lube?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
