I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You ruined the universe
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
