i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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