One girl and one boy is just not enough.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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