Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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