you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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