I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I want to be your penis for a week.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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