Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize