your thong is hanging out like whoa
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
