Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hippo gnu deer
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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