a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
