O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
