Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
