Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
