paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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