now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize