Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
