I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
