Nicole vs. Life
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
