Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
