I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
