I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
