wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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