He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
sex in a hospital.. check
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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