i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
God, I missed his penis.
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