i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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