just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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