Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
