How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
