Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize