had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
