ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
