Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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