dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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