Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
someone owes me an orgasm
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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