Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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