Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
