There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
