So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
