what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
